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This week’s episode of Gene Simmons Family Jewels began with a commentary by Gene on tradition. He stated that tradition is the key to preserving culture and thus preserving family. He also said that one of the greatest honors someone can get is when they’re invited to participate in a family’s tradition. This was the theme of the show tonight. Gene was invited to be Godfather to his friend’s grandson (Uncle Tony, Tony Roman).

There’s a bit on Godfathers and what the family thinks it means. The kids and Shannon all have connotations from Hollywood movies, saying that they think of the Mafia or criminals when they hear the term. Gene says that it’s to take care of a child.

Gene and Shannon head to Old Bridge, New Jersey for the Baptism of the child. Before they leave the house Shannon reminds Gene to pack his suit, as well as his Viagra and heart medicine. Gene swears he doesn’t take Viagra. So Shannon offers it to Nick. Nick says it’s not his time yet to need it.

Gene and Shannon arrive in Old Bridge, New Jersey and it seems like a very nice town, perhaps a wealthy city that is commutable to New York City. The house is large and nice. Not like a mansion size or on an estate but a lot larger than the one where I live (thank you very much). The house looks very lived in, at least in terms of décor. There are family pictures on the wall in the foyer, and a Crucifix by the door. (Side note – my Crucifix is above the door, as I’ve been told it’s good luck to place it there.) The guests also see a pile of shoes by the door and figure out they need to take theirs off as well.

There are lots of family and friends in the house to meet Gene and Shannon. The women stay in the kitchen to cook while the men go off to the den to do manly things. This irks Shannon. She wants to go with the guys but is pulled back into the kitchen with the women. The ladies begin preparations for dinner and prepare a tray of snacks for the guys to tide them over until dinner. Donna (Tony’s wife) asks Shannon to help her bring them to the den. Shannon says why can’t they come and get it themselves. Donna says we are the hostesses. Shannon comments later that the women’s movement hasn’t made it to that house yet. There’s a bit where Donna lets Tony slap her playfully on the rear end. Gene tries that with Shannon, but she turns around and hits him. Shannon later asks him what he would do if it was Sophie and one of those guys slapped her butt. He said he’d decapitate them. Shannon mutters to herself, almost like why can you slap my butt and that’s ok, there’s no one to decapitate you.

Oh, I forgot about the bad Marlon Brando impression in the den. They guys are there when Tony says he has something to say to Gene in front of his family and friends. He does this bad Brando as the Godfather imitation saying that he was honored to have Gene as his grandson’s Godfather. He shouldn’t quit his day job.

Back in the kitchen and the ladies are making meatballs. Shannon asks what kind of meat they use. One of the women reply beef, pork and veal (a typically traditional Italian meatball, and usually very delicious if I can digress for a second). Shannon says they’ll have to make another kind for Gene since he doesn’t eat pork. The women wonder why. She tells them that he is Jewish. You hear a bunch of ohs and ahs and no comments. Shannon calls in Gene to take some pics with the baby while he is not cranky and a group of the women congregate behind them (Donna, Tony’s sister Connie and a few others) saying “Did you know he’s Jewish” and “What are we going to do about the Baptism?” Donna calls in Tony and asks him if he knew that Gene was Jewish. He said yes. She says this is a problem, since the Church probably won’t let him be a Godparent since he is not Catholic. Tony says don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.

Tony calls Gene and two other guys out and says they’re going to take a ride. Gene wants to know where they are going, and Tony says I’ll tell you in the truck. Obviously he didn’t because Gene was upset to find out they were in church. Not because they were in church, but because he did not want to show any disrespect and felt the way he was dressed (a leather coat, shirt with a skull and crossbones on it) was disrespectful. Tony introduces Gene to Father Rich. Gene admits he’s Jewish, but then gets into this theological discussion with Father. It’s more of a speech or diatribe than dialogue. Shannon comments that sometimes Gene gets his way just so people can get him to be quiet. Tony reminds Father Rich that his sister Connie is going to be the Godmother, and no one is more Catholic than Connie. Father Rich says that if Gene performs some community service then he’ll let him be Godfather.

OK, so I had to research this point. It’s confusing to me, as a lifelong Catholic, that a priest would just give in and let someone not of the faith, let alone not even a Christian, serve as Godparent. Well, guess what. A person being Baptized only needs one sponsor (better known as a Godparent) who is a good Catholic. It can be a Godfather or Godmother. A person can have Baptismal witnesses – they are part of the ceremony but not listed in the records as Godparent. I’m assuming this is the way Father Rich got around the situation. If you want to read more, click here for a link to the website where I got this information.

Gene’s community service – Safety Patrol. He, Tony and the other guys went to the parish school to set up the pick up lanes for the children. Gene helped to match up the kids with the parents. Pretty funny.

However……here is where I am confused. The next day is supposedly Sunday, the day of the Baptism. Does this parish have school on Saturdays? If not, what happened to this “lost day”? Just an observation. But if there was no lost day in between there would not have been any drama when it comes to picking out a gift for the baby. More on that later.

While Gene is gone to the Church, Shannon accompanies some of the women to an Italian deli. Shannon asks why don’t they let the guys cook. The women reply that they usually have dinner on the table for them, and they work so hard. Shannon says to the women don’t you work hard too? Her pep talk must have worked because we see the women all relaxing with wine while the remaining men are cooking. Tony isn’t too happy with this when he returns, but Donna basically threatens to withhold marital relations if he doesn’t comply. Gene serves as the cheerleader for the men, encouraging them to be respectful and try to cook something well for everyone. When they all sit down Gene makes a toast, asking the women to be understanding with the food as it was cooked by men, and makes a comment that without women men would be nothing. Tony toasts Gene and Shannon and says that with Gene’s help they averted a major disaster at the church and he was going to be in fact Godfather to the baby.

Connie (Tony’s sister, and the Godmother) comes over to Gene and Shannon and says that everyone can’t wait to see what he bought for the baby. Gene looks panicked – he didn’t realize that he needed to provide a gift. The next morning he and Shannon leave the house, making an excuse that Gene needed to get a dress shirt, and borrowed Tony’s car to go to the mall. Shannon calls her sister who suggested a cross necklace or charm bracelet as a gift. Gene wants to go into Manhattan into the diamond district to buy it. Shannon wonders if there is enough time, but Gene says that on a Sunday they should make it no problem. Shannon was like a kid in a candy store when looking at the jewelry. Finally they find an appropriate cross for the baby.

At the church everyone is worried because they are late, but Gene and Shannon pull up and Shannon makes an excuse that they forgot the present so they had to go all the way back. The family loved it, putting the cross on the baby for the ceremony.

As a side note. Gene arrives at the church NOT wearing a dress shirt. I guess no one else noticed or the producers didn’t think to include this bit in the show. Also, what about the lost day? But there would be no drama about making it to the church on time if there was an entire day in which Gene could go shopping. I’m still wondering if the parish school has classes on Saturday or if we as viewers were snowed.

Gene finishes with some nice thoughts. He said that this was his first Baptism and he had only ever seen them in the movies or on TV before. He said that experiencing it he realized it was very important – seeing the parents’ pride as the pass on the family values to the child.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, June 21st, 2009 at 9:44 pm and is filed under Gene Simmons Family Jewels.